ASK-ing back

It was during one of the newly elected committee meeting back in 2013, the thirteen of us sat around in a circle in the house's living room on a Thursday evening, the announcement by the then-chairperson Jude was made; we are going to organise the Catholic Student's Society 2nd Annual camp. It was there that Jude and Vincent, the vice chairperson announced the organising committee to which would execute the society's biggest annual event. The camp itself wasn't only a point of interest but the journey towards it was what defined how it turned out. 

----------------------------------------------------

Looking back to two years ago, the ASK camp; a name which was decided after a long discussion among ourselves, made me realise how complicated and tough it was leading a group of people whom we sometimes refer to as a family away from home. The indelible mark on our souls and mind left by the camp's journey was a lesson for the fifteen of us to realise that working together for a greater purpose isn't as easy as it was; the challenge, I can say for myself, was that despite organising a camp, we constantly had to keep in mind that the camp was for a greater purpose - to spread the love and message of God. 

The ASK camp was carried out with respect to the Gospel reading of Matthew chapter 7 verses seven to eight; because of the acronym that the word ASK itself represented, besides that, it was a challenge for us to search of what we are asking for, searching for and to which door we ought to knock. To that, the question we asked was about our human purpose in life through God's divine plan in which we spoke about our human body (referencing to St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body). The  "seek-ing" was about what in life that we can search for and how do we attain happiness and joyfulness through Christ. The door which we knock was about the source and summit  of our Christian life - the very sacrifice of Jesus, celebrated every day - the Mass. 

The camp opened up a vista of events that after going through it made me realise that the intentions of the heart if not properly shown by our words and action will only bring a misunderstanding amongst the one we love. The camp as I have seen it was an invitation to really understand that believing in your faith is as important as living it out; I was blessed to have worked with a team which was not only eager to learn about things beyond themselves but also the tolerance and forgiveness they had between and for each other. 

I'm going to be honest and say that working together for a camp in the name of Christ is one of the hardest and most challenging things one can face. First of all, no matter how hard we have to work with the pressure of our studies and social life, we have to put aside what extra time we had for the camp. Secondly, no matter how much we abhorred the work ethics of our fellow friends, we had to continue and  remind ourselves that what we work for is for the greater good. Thirdly, only after working together we realise that some relationships will change after this and it might be hard returning to the way things were. All the nights of discussion and preparation, all the long meetings and the multitude of laughter and tears, was a shared experience we had in growing towards a betterment of ourselves. 

Looking back at 2013 up till the camp in the following year, made me realise how we the CSS was still a community that was very much in growth - suffice to say that what we face today by the newer members of this family will never know the difference in struggle we had a few years back. 

Throughout the time working for this camp, relationship with one another grew stronger and the opposite too occurred. Then again, what is life without its ups and downs? The end result of it was that I believe each one of us, grew in faith and in trust for the Lord. 

Though it has been two years since, I would still like to thank the amazing team which God had put in place; from Megan, whom was wise to see the things that I couldn't see, to Jude and Sarah whose  lesson was that patience will lead to honesty, to Cynthia, whom God has taught to grow and taught me that each one of us are gifted, to Jasreena and Cecilia, whose perseverance taught me to trust God more, to Calista and Emily, whose child-like joy and optimism brought brightness to the group, to Matilda,  that any idea is worth sharing and to be discerned. To Christopher, whom taught me that perspective of how and what things are vital to getting things done; to Vincent, who showed me that once promising to something we stand by it till the end; to Nicholas and Samantha, who showed me that practice leads to new ideas and from new ideas to sometimes surprising ourselves; and Samuel, who taught me that all of us will always have room to learn. 

All in all, each one of them taught me that love of Christ surpasses all (Eph 3:19) the challenges and hardships which we endure. Furthermore that sometimes not only what the mouth speaks shows what the heart is full (Luke 6:45) but our actions and reactions matter just as much. 

This picture was added because notice that the mattress is mid-air.

Lent for UTARians

Lent is tomorrow! This marks the beginning of a 40-day period of trying to increase our holiness and piousness; but Lent is not all that grim, in fact it gives us the hope to look forward to the risen Christ and a second chance for us to restart our new year's resolution. 

Being a UTAR student in Kampar provides us with the opportunity of being tempted only for us to overcome those temptation and through those actions making us stronger in our relationship with God and with others. We call ourselves a family because of the faith that we share with one another and the support we provide, and "inspiring each of us to love our neighbour and devote ourselves what the Church's tradition call the spiritual and corporal works of mercy"1. 

Below then is a list of what we can do for Lent, take note that this is just a guideline and has nothing to do with anything official but there's a guarantee that following some of it will make your Lent a little more meaningful this semester. In no particular order, here goes!

1. Go for the Way of the Cross on Fridays
2. Pray with a friend
3. Proudly do the Sign of the Cross before every meals
4. Less binge watching anime, sitcoms, dramas or any of our favourite TV series
5. Teh tarik kurang manis or better yet teh kosong
6. Which take us to - less mamak sessions
7. Less DOTA! (or LoL, or HoN)
8. Walk to campus and enjoy the morning sunrise
9. Start on your assignment as soon as you get it. 
10. Volunteer to print one set of notes for your friend
11. Join either Tuesday's or Thursday's weekly gathering
12. Say "Hi" and have a conversation with another member whom you never speak to
13. Invite a fellow Catholic for Mass (if he/she rarely goes)
14. Invite a non-Catholic for any of CSS's activities
15. Save an extra Ringgit to put in the collection bag every Sunday
16. No eating that just-fried fried chicken. Instead buy it for another person.
17. Support a completely unrelated (meaning not because they are your friend's or because of your course) society's event on campus
18. Give an honest hug to someone who might need it after Sunday Mass
19. Volunteer at the soup kitchen on Saturdays at Church
20. Greet and smile at the campus cleaners, if you're brave enough strike a conversation with them, you'll be surprised
21. DON'T SIGN YOUR FRIEND'S ATTENDANCE or ask a friend to sign for you
22. Call your parents more often
23. Read a spiritual book or article (for starters you can start with Evangelii Gaudium or any Pope's message to youths)
24. Pick up random rubbish on the pathway while you're heading to Block C or Block K
25. Offer a ride (if you have a car) to someone who's walking under the hot sun or when it starts to rain
26. Say thank you to your lecturers after class
27. No Maggi or Ramen or Mamee!
28. No side comments on people you don't know
29. Save that extra ringgit for the Lenten Love Squad
30. Save another extra ringgit for another charity outside of Church
31. Practice recycling
32. Lessen on going to the CC (Cyber cafe)
33. Go to Confession NOT only during the Penitential service at Church
34. Start a conversation with Uncle Lawrence or Uncle John Lau (our van drivers) or whomever that picks us up at Bus Stop 3
35. No skipping classes
36. No MCs!
37. Forgive your assignment-mate if he or she slacks
38. Smile more at people
39. Start with the minimum of saying thank you to Jesus before going to sleep
40. Don't sleep during class
41. Keep your handphone in your pocket during meals with friends and ESPECIALLY DURING MASS
42. For a change join the Tuesday's CSS gathering (if you go on Thursdays) or vice versa; you'll discover something new
43. Enjoy the sunset
44. Sweep your house's common area
45. Surprise your friend with a meal
46. Fast on Fridays
47. Honestly pray for a friend who might need it
48. Volunteer to visit the Orang Asal or migrants with Sister Amy from time to time
49. Lessen on streaming videos on your home internet
50. After Mass go to either those outside your circle or aunties or uncles and wish them a good week ahead.

The list might go on and on, basically there are numerous little things we can do this Lent; in fact we're lucky to be in UTAR where there are a lot of options for us to learn about our faith, and to "increase our measure of authenticity as disciples of Jesus, and our credibility as Christians in today's world"2. Don't neglect Lent and brush it off as another rigid thing the Catholic Church practices, in fact take it as a personal challenge to make ourselves as better disciples of Christ and to be his witnesses in our daily lives. 

1. Lent 2016: "I desire mercy not sacrifice" (Mat 9:13) The works of mercy on the road of the Jubilee
2. XXXI World Youth Day message: Blessed are the merciful, they shall obtain mercy (Mat 5:7)

To Adore.

I just sit there looking at her; she's been the one person I love, the one person whom I can sacrifice my life for. I just sit down and stare at her, admiring how her hair falls of her neck, how her nose wrinkles a little as she laughs and how she taps the table slightly as a sign that she's a little hungry.

The amazing thing about all of this is that I can just stare at her almost all day without a hint of boredom. I can just sit down and adore her all day.

Before you get surprised as to why I am talking about a girl's beauty as seen by the adorer's eye, picture yourself, just staring at something which you find beautiful; may it be the sunset over the hills, your puppy who's just sleeping in his bed, or the car to which you just bought after years of working for it. The act of staring into something in which you love brings a certain happiness to the heart and a calmness to the mind, knowing that such a beauty exists. This is what adoration is, to affectionately admire something or someone.

Now what about adoring the one whom first loved us? The one who loved us so much that He gave his only son (cf John 3:16) and the one whom was willingly prepared to die for us so that we might be saved. Thus the Church around the 13th century (source) allowed us to just sit and admire the beauty of God through what we call the Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.

Adoration is the first attitude of man acknowledging that he is a creature before his Creator. It exalts the greatness of the Lord who made us and the almighty power of the Savior who sets us free from evil. Adoration is homage of the spirit to the "King of Glory," respectful silence in the presence of the "ever greater" God. Adoration of the thrice-holy and sovereign God of love blends with humility and gives assurance to our supplications.     —Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2628

Personally, the Adoration is my favourite devotion; the adoration is in fact a different devotion together as compared to others. All other devotions leads us to God through their own formula while the adoration itself is Jesus physically sitting upon his throne in front of you. It's hard for many to sometimes understand the beauty of adoration, the silence of the entire Church or place staring at the host in the monstrance can mislead the mind to wander off at times, or bring a certain kind of boredom to some; but would you be bored staring at the person you love most? Similarly to staring at God, we admire the creator, and the unique difference of adoring Christ is that when you speak to him through your thoughts, he listens. He knows your inmost thoughts and desires (cf. Psalm 139: 1 -2) and that is the trust that you can have whilst adoring him you can also speak to him.

Similarly as how I can admire the beauty of the person I love and cherish, I too can admire the greatness of the person I owe my being to. As adoring the person I cherish sometimes is not the same the other way round because of the freedom that he or she has, but adoring Him, is a sure thing that he will love you forever (cf Jeremiah 31:3).

If you're Catholic and reading this, I encourage you to go for Adorations, even when he isn't exposed, go and spend time with Him in the Blessed Sacrament; there's nothing more beautiful than being in the presence of the one who loves us and whom we love.

Facing God together.

What's the first thought that comes to your mind when looking at this picture below?

Image taken from www.ipadre.net.
Here we can see five concelebrating Priests and a deacon. 

Now is this the expression that you will give or fellow Catholics would give, as shown below?

Common reactions received if you show a Priest celebrating ad orientem

Probably so, Now what exactly is the Priest doing in the picture above? Yes he is saying the Mass, but I think the more specific question is "why". Why because the Priest who is in persona Christi (Now if that Latin phrase scares you, it means in the person of Christ; your catechism should have taught you this) is saying the Mass as he would 50 plus years ago.  

Before I go on, I have three important points to make:

First and foremost this post is entirely my viewpoint on the Mass. I don't intend to create any discontinuity or teach some outdated teaching (which in fact it is never outdated at all). Furthermore I don't wish to be smarter than any Priests or faith formation persons who think what I am about to share is considered old fashion and backwards. 

Secondly, my background is growing up in a Malaysian Catholic culture, where the liturgy and the Mass is thought in catechism classes but at the end of Form 5, ask any Catholic youth to where do we genuflect to or what is the anamnesis is, or simply, what language is the Kyrie Eleison is, and they would fumble and doubt all their 11 years of attending Sunday (or in my case, Saturday evening) school. For most of my faith formation came from my mother and later on through friends who exposed the real beauty of the Mass.

Finally third and most importantly get to know the word: ad orientem, it's Latin for "to the east". Looking through and through the Sunday Missal, and through Sacrosanctum Concilium never has it said that a the Priest should face the people like how he does now. I don't intend to debate on why he does it, I'm just stating a fact. Basically when the Mass is said ad orientem-ly it means that the Priest together with the people are worshiping God togethere, it does not make the Mass a non-community meal as some people teach (though it is never mentioned that the Mass is a meal per se).

Ok, if this already heavy for you, let me be easy on you. Back in the days (pre-Vatican II) the Priest faces away from you, though that is true it isn't the intention or reason, in fact, he is facing God together with you. After Vatican II, that somehow changed and now the Priest is facing towards you and his back towards God (where if the tabernacle is behind the Priest's back). 

A Capuchin priest once told me that the reason the Priest was facing his back, was so that when people saw him, and only saw his back they would also gaze up and look at the Cross which is a reminder of what their faith is all about. 

Altar of Holy Rosary Church, Brickfields. Where not only the upward gaze is
towards the son but it can also be towards His mother.

So what's the fuss about?

The fuss is this; it's not about whether the Priest is facing you so that he can keep an eye contact with you, or you can see what he is doing, in fact it goes deeper whereby the theology of it is that when the Priest is facing away he is actually leading you, as a shepherd towards God. Also, it adds a sense of a mystery of faith to the Mass. Also, when he faces towards God, it will add a sense of sacred dignity for the celebration, not in any way that facing you can't. 

Finally my question is this? Why are Priests and faith formators so afraid of this way of saying the Mass? Perhaps if we really thought and catechise people on the Mass being a sacrifice, a celebration to commemorate Jesus' passion, death and glorious resurrection and not as Pope Francis puts it a "social event" perhaps people would learn to appreciate the Mass altogether. 

To sum it up this simple picture depicts everything that is said:

Do read on below for more on this stigma of saying the Mass

• Offering the Novus Ordo ad orientem
• The Normativity of Ad Orientem Worship according to the Ordinary Form's Rubrics

I do fear that some people would come up and ask, so by this way, it will make you more holy? Truth be told, no, it will not make you more holy - yet (though THAT is the goal) but it will add to the meaning of the Mass and eventually lead you to think on what the Mass actually is. The Mass, as many has forgotten is not something we come for fun or something frivolous that can be taken lightly with special additions and whatnot, it is the culmination of our beliefs and a remembrance of all those who would die for it.  

A little look at death.

There was once a quote that I came across that loosely goes like this:

"When one person dies, a great book is lost forever"

Everyone has a story, no matter how dull or grey their lives are or otherwise, every single person be it an infant or a person over a hundred - their lives is a story. Analogically speaking every person is described as a book, and where ever we go, as long there exists a community there exist a library, a plethora of books, if you put in a place like Malaysia and pick let's say a small town there exists a library of many genres. 

Why the looking at death suddenly? The reason is because death is a natural part of life for a saying goes "For life we are uncertain but death it is for sure". Everything and everyone will die, that is the continous reality of the law of nature. This insight of death is to reflect on life, and how are we to spend our lives as to one day end up dying.

In this first part of looking at death, we would look into the "books" each one of us are. We call ourselves books because we are constantly writing  our stories. Every single day is a story to write, the dullness or bore of the day, or the exciting adventures we have from the moment we open our eyes to the time we close it is a new page in our book; when something takes a turn in our lives we then call that a chapter in our books. 

Each person's story is as unique as to themselves. Not only because of what the person goes through physically but more importantly is what the person perceives about something. Picture this, two people with very similar background from terms of ethnic and the way they are brought up can have very different opinions about how their community should be governed. The opinion, the perception or the viewpoint of the person is what adds into the story of one's life. The beauty of this is the concept of a free will, the freedom in which we are given to think; this is what gives our individuality. 

Now when death comes to a person, the book finally closes, the final sentences are written, and the reference list is added and index compiled just before the back cover closes. All of whatever is written is then lost to eternity. No matter how much one can account of the one who has passed, they will never get the same book ever again. For that reason that is why there is the reference list and the index, it is where after death, people continually to talk about the deceased. One might die like a superstar who died of an overdose, where people will talk about his sad way to go or die a martyr and how he sacrificed his life for others or in something he believes in; the book actually really never closes. What closes are the main chapters of that person's life. 

That is why no matter what a person is going through, everyone has their story to tell, pivoting that is what goes in their mind that makes it right for them - the subtle emphasis in their own lives, the usage of punctuation and perhaps pictographs in their pages. 

Never give up the chance to continue writing in your book; the question might occur on who then might read it? The person you share your adventures with.

"Jesus, have pity on me"

In preparation for the Extraordinary Year of Mercy which is about a month and a half away, the Gospel reading from last Sunday is an amazing example on the love and mercy of God. This Sunday's Gospel is taken from Mark chapter 10 verses 46 to 52; it tell of a blind beggar named Bartimaeus who calls out to Jesus to heal him. Whilst calling out some of the disciples silenced him but he persisted and kept calling on Jesus. When Jesus heard him, he called him and asked what does Bartimaeus want, he said he wanted to see again, and as simple as that, Jesus made him see again thanks to his faith.

When listening to this Gospel a few perspective on our faith came to mind. I really love this Gospel, because it opens up an invitation for us on how to receive the mercy and healing power of God. Furthermore, it shows a practical, so to say, guide on how to actually receive that mercy and healing; a clear method.

"Bartimaeus (that is, the son of Timaeus), a blind beggar, was sitting at the side of the road."

First and foremost, let us compare ourselves to the poor Bartimaeus  - we know that he is blind, we know that since he is blind, he is considered an outcast of some sort in the community, whatmore than that is he needs something to cure him. Now take that example and compare to us, how blind are we? Blind spiritually? Blindness is also a reflection on what we are lacking of in our lives; this blindness however is not something we ignore, it is actually something we know that lacks in us yet there isn't something we can do about it because we don't know how or the chance hasn't passed us yet.

"When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout and to say, ‘Son of David, Jesus, have pity on me.'"

Now is when we that opportunity comes walking by, the answer that we have been looking and yearning for. When we know that the chance of renewing ourselves is at hand, we reach out to it, only to find that...

"And many of them scolded him and told him to keep quiet, but he only shouted all the louder.."

Here we look at the obstacles in which hinders us from getting that grace, that healing power which we require so much. Reflecting on our lives, we will look at this on how the people around us or the environment itself pulls us away from getting to be our better selves. Look at it this way, deep in our hearts we know we want to change, to become the better self, but do we receive the support we get from our family or friends, our colleagues or even fellow-Church goers? Sometimes the hindrance from others retracts us from being that better self, yet we need to be like Bartimaeus and continue to shout because...

"Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him here.’ So they called the blind man. ‘Courage,’ they said ‘get up; he is calling you.’"

And that is how we receive God's grace; the invitation that Jesus calls towards us. After calling us to him, Jesus asked the man

"What do you want me to do for you?"

It is not that Jesus does not know what you want, here is stating that, in order to receive the grace of God, we need to be sure of what we need. Bertimaeus knew it, because he was blind, similar to ourselves, upon receiving the invitation of God's love, are we sure and bold enough to ask what we really need? Are we certain that what we need is going to make us the better person we long to be?  When asked this question to ourselves, be sure that we be honest and more importantly direct.

"Master, let me see again.’
 Jesus said to him, ‘Go; your faith has saved you.’ And immediately his sight returned..."
This is where we tell Him our desire, our need of healing. And in the many times Jesus has said this (Luke 7:50, Luke 17:19, cf Mark 5:43), it is clear that our faith in him, our belief in him, is the key for us to receive the blessings and healing we require. 

"... and he followed him along the road."
Then again, the receiving is not just enough; like many people we might know, yes they have accepted Jesus but the harder part is following him. Living it up to the teachings of the Gospel is no easy feat; receiving God's grace is easier with faith, but living it up to it is where we fail. That is why we must always be like this poor Bartimaeus and keep calling out to Jesus to heal, and upon receiving that healing, keep on the journey with Him. 

In addition to that, here are another two wonderful reflection on this week's Sunday Gospel:
Word to Life - October 25, and
Deacon's bench - Homily for 30th Sunday

A biblical advice on solving problems with someone.

Today's Gospel puts it almost perfectly on how to solve problems with someone. It takes on four approaches:

First, talk to your "brother", speak, reason and dialogue with him. Settle it between the both of you. If in the end, you and him reason things out, then it is solved!

Second, if step one fails, bring along another person or two, to settle it with him/her. Speak it out, dialogue and reason once more. Hear another person's point-of-view; what more get a person who's wiser and you know has dealt with a problem similar to what you to have.

Third, if approach number two fails, bring it to the community. Community meaning the bigger picture - bring him to court if it comes to that, or round up the groups and circle involved. Sort things out, discuss, and once again dialogue.

Finally if all else fails, "treat him like a pagan or a tax collector." As harsh as it may sound, this means that the problem with this person is beyond help. So what to do if it reaches here? Simple, do like what Jesus did, forgive them (see Luke 18:13), make sure to reason with them and most of all let them know what they are doing is not correct - be sure to justify why,  and above all pray for them. 

The practical guide provided by Jesus can easily be related to; when dealing with a person, it is always wise to reason out on what and why the person did what he did. It's best that problems between people can be solved through understanding, at the smallest point is to always solve it before it gets too large. Furthermore, the four approaches is not necessarily a procedural approach, it can also depend on the gravity of the wrong doing. The most important approach is always to keep in mind to do it with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15).

"Jesus said, ‘If your brother does something wrong, go and have it out with him alone, between your two selves. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you: the evidence of two or three witnesses is required to sustain any charge. But if he refuses to listen to these, report it to the community; and if he refuses to listen to the community, treat him like a pagan or a tax collector." - Matthew 15:18-17