ASK-ing back

It was during one of the newly elected committee meeting back in 2013, the thirteen of us sat around in a circle in the house's living room on a Thursday evening, the announcement by the then-chairperson Jude was made; we are going to organise the Catholic Student's Society 2nd Annual camp. It was there that Jude and Vincent, the vice chairperson announced the organising committee to which would execute the society's biggest annual event. The camp itself wasn't only a point of interest but the journey towards it was what defined how it turned out. 

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Looking back to two years ago, the ASK camp; a name which was decided after a long discussion among ourselves, made me realise how complicated and tough it was leading a group of people whom we sometimes refer to as a family away from home. The indelible mark on our souls and mind left by the camp's journey was a lesson for the fifteen of us to realise that working together for a greater purpose isn't as easy as it was; the challenge, I can say for myself, was that despite organising a camp, we constantly had to keep in mind that the camp was for a greater purpose - to spread the love and message of God. 

The ASK camp was carried out with respect to the Gospel reading of Matthew chapter 7 verses seven to eight; because of the acronym that the word ASK itself represented, besides that, it was a challenge for us to search of what we are asking for, searching for and to which door we ought to knock. To that, the question we asked was about our human purpose in life through God's divine plan in which we spoke about our human body (referencing to St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body). The  "seek-ing" was about what in life that we can search for and how do we attain happiness and joyfulness through Christ. The door which we knock was about the source and summit  of our Christian life - the very sacrifice of Jesus, celebrated every day - the Mass. 

The camp opened up a vista of events that after going through it made me realise that the intentions of the heart if not properly shown by our words and action will only bring a misunderstanding amongst the one we love. The camp as I have seen it was an invitation to really understand that believing in your faith is as important as living it out; I was blessed to have worked with a team which was not only eager to learn about things beyond themselves but also the tolerance and forgiveness they had between and for each other. 

I'm going to be honest and say that working together for a camp in the name of Christ is one of the hardest and most challenging things one can face. First of all, no matter how hard we have to work with the pressure of our studies and social life, we have to put aside what extra time we had for the camp. Secondly, no matter how much we abhorred the work ethics of our fellow friends, we had to continue and  remind ourselves that what we work for is for the greater good. Thirdly, only after working together we realise that some relationships will change after this and it might be hard returning to the way things were. All the nights of discussion and preparation, all the long meetings and the multitude of laughter and tears, was a shared experience we had in growing towards a betterment of ourselves. 

Looking back at 2013 up till the camp in the following year, made me realise how we the CSS was still a community that was very much in growth - suffice to say that what we face today by the newer members of this family will never know the difference in struggle we had a few years back. 

Throughout the time working for this camp, relationship with one another grew stronger and the opposite too occurred. Then again, what is life without its ups and downs? The end result of it was that I believe each one of us, grew in faith and in trust for the Lord. 

Though it has been two years since, I would still like to thank the amazing team which God had put in place; from Megan, whom was wise to see the things that I couldn't see, to Jude and Sarah whose  lesson was that patience will lead to honesty, to Cynthia, whom God has taught to grow and taught me that each one of us are gifted, to Jasreena and Cecilia, whose perseverance taught me to trust God more, to Calista and Emily, whose child-like joy and optimism brought brightness to the group, to Matilda,  that any idea is worth sharing and to be discerned. To Christopher, whom taught me that perspective of how and what things are vital to getting things done; to Vincent, who showed me that once promising to something we stand by it till the end; to Nicholas and Samantha, who showed me that practice leads to new ideas and from new ideas to sometimes surprising ourselves; and Samuel, who taught me that all of us will always have room to learn. 

All in all, each one of them taught me that love of Christ surpasses all (Eph 3:19) the challenges and hardships which we endure. Furthermore that sometimes not only what the mouth speaks shows what the heart is full (Luke 6:45) but our actions and reactions matter just as much. 

This picture was added because notice that the mattress is mid-air.

Lent for UTARians

Lent is tomorrow! This marks the beginning of a 40-day period of trying to increase our holiness and piousness; but Lent is not all that grim, in fact it gives us the hope to look forward to the risen Christ and a second chance for us to restart our new year's resolution. 

Being a UTAR student in Kampar provides us with the opportunity of being tempted only for us to overcome those temptation and through those actions making us stronger in our relationship with God and with others. We call ourselves a family because of the faith that we share with one another and the support we provide, and "inspiring each of us to love our neighbour and devote ourselves what the Church's tradition call the spiritual and corporal works of mercy"1. 

Below then is a list of what we can do for Lent, take note that this is just a guideline and has nothing to do with anything official but there's a guarantee that following some of it will make your Lent a little more meaningful this semester. In no particular order, here goes!

1. Go for the Way of the Cross on Fridays
2. Pray with a friend
3. Proudly do the Sign of the Cross before every meals
4. Less binge watching anime, sitcoms, dramas or any of our favourite TV series
5. Teh tarik kurang manis or better yet teh kosong
6. Which take us to - less mamak sessions
7. Less DOTA! (or LoL, or HoN)
8. Walk to campus and enjoy the morning sunrise
9. Start on your assignment as soon as you get it. 
10. Volunteer to print one set of notes for your friend
11. Join either Tuesday's or Thursday's weekly gathering
12. Say "Hi" and have a conversation with another member whom you never speak to
13. Invite a fellow Catholic for Mass (if he/she rarely goes)
14. Invite a non-Catholic for any of CSS's activities
15. Save an extra Ringgit to put in the collection bag every Sunday
16. No eating that just-fried fried chicken. Instead buy it for another person.
17. Support a completely unrelated (meaning not because they are your friend's or because of your course) society's event on campus
18. Give an honest hug to someone who might need it after Sunday Mass
19. Volunteer at the soup kitchen on Saturdays at Church
20. Greet and smile at the campus cleaners, if you're brave enough strike a conversation with them, you'll be surprised
21. DON'T SIGN YOUR FRIEND'S ATTENDANCE or ask a friend to sign for you
22. Call your parents more often
23. Read a spiritual book or article (for starters you can start with Evangelii Gaudium or any Pope's message to youths)
24. Pick up random rubbish on the pathway while you're heading to Block C or Block K
25. Offer a ride (if you have a car) to someone who's walking under the hot sun or when it starts to rain
26. Say thank you to your lecturers after class
27. No Maggi or Ramen or Mamee!
28. No side comments on people you don't know
29. Save that extra ringgit for the Lenten Love Squad
30. Save another extra ringgit for another charity outside of Church
31. Practice recycling
32. Lessen on going to the CC (Cyber cafe)
33. Go to Confession NOT only during the Penitential service at Church
34. Start a conversation with Uncle Lawrence or Uncle John Lau (our van drivers) or whomever that picks us up at Bus Stop 3
35. No skipping classes
36. No MCs!
37. Forgive your assignment-mate if he or she slacks
38. Smile more at people
39. Start with the minimum of saying thank you to Jesus before going to sleep
40. Don't sleep during class
41. Keep your handphone in your pocket during meals with friends and ESPECIALLY DURING MASS
42. For a change join the Tuesday's CSS gathering (if you go on Thursdays) or vice versa; you'll discover something new
43. Enjoy the sunset
44. Sweep your house's common area
45. Surprise your friend with a meal
46. Fast on Fridays
47. Honestly pray for a friend who might need it
48. Volunteer to visit the Orang Asal or migrants with Sister Amy from time to time
49. Lessen on streaming videos on your home internet
50. After Mass go to either those outside your circle or aunties or uncles and wish them a good week ahead.

The list might go on and on, basically there are numerous little things we can do this Lent; in fact we're lucky to be in UTAR where there are a lot of options for us to learn about our faith, and to "increase our measure of authenticity as disciples of Jesus, and our credibility as Christians in today's world"2. Don't neglect Lent and brush it off as another rigid thing the Catholic Church practices, in fact take it as a personal challenge to make ourselves as better disciples of Christ and to be his witnesses in our daily lives. 

1. Lent 2016: "I desire mercy not sacrifice" (Mat 9:13) The works of mercy on the road of the Jubilee
2. XXXI World Youth Day message: Blessed are the merciful, they shall obtain mercy (Mat 5:7)

Facing God together.

What's the first thought that comes to your mind when looking at this picture below?

Image taken from www.ipadre.net.
Here we can see five concelebrating Priests and a deacon. 

Now is this the expression that you will give or fellow Catholics would give, as shown below?

Common reactions received if you show a Priest celebrating ad orientem

Probably so, Now what exactly is the Priest doing in the picture above? Yes he is saying the Mass, but I think the more specific question is "why". Why because the Priest who is in persona Christi (Now if that Latin phrase scares you, it means in the person of Christ; your catechism should have taught you this) is saying the Mass as he would 50 plus years ago.  

Before I go on, I have three important points to make:

First and foremost this post is entirely my viewpoint on the Mass. I don't intend to create any discontinuity or teach some outdated teaching (which in fact it is never outdated at all). Furthermore I don't wish to be smarter than any Priests or faith formation persons who think what I am about to share is considered old fashion and backwards. 

Secondly, my background is growing up in a Malaysian Catholic culture, where the liturgy and the Mass is thought in catechism classes but at the end of Form 5, ask any Catholic youth to where do we genuflect to or what is the anamnesis is, or simply, what language is the Kyrie Eleison is, and they would fumble and doubt all their 11 years of attending Sunday (or in my case, Saturday evening) school. For most of my faith formation came from my mother and later on through friends who exposed the real beauty of the Mass.

Finally third and most importantly get to know the word: ad orientem, it's Latin for "to the east". Looking through and through the Sunday Missal, and through Sacrosanctum Concilium never has it said that a the Priest should face the people like how he does now. I don't intend to debate on why he does it, I'm just stating a fact. Basically when the Mass is said ad orientem-ly it means that the Priest together with the people are worshiping God togethere, it does not make the Mass a non-community meal as some people teach (though it is never mentioned that the Mass is a meal per se).

Ok, if this already heavy for you, let me be easy on you. Back in the days (pre-Vatican II) the Priest faces away from you, though that is true it isn't the intention or reason, in fact, he is facing God together with you. After Vatican II, that somehow changed and now the Priest is facing towards you and his back towards God (where if the tabernacle is behind the Priest's back). 

A Capuchin priest once told me that the reason the Priest was facing his back, was so that when people saw him, and only saw his back they would also gaze up and look at the Cross which is a reminder of what their faith is all about. 

Altar of Holy Rosary Church, Brickfields. Where not only the upward gaze is
towards the son but it can also be towards His mother.

So what's the fuss about?

The fuss is this; it's not about whether the Priest is facing you so that he can keep an eye contact with you, or you can see what he is doing, in fact it goes deeper whereby the theology of it is that when the Priest is facing away he is actually leading you, as a shepherd towards God. Also, it adds a sense of a mystery of faith to the Mass. Also, when he faces towards God, it will add a sense of sacred dignity for the celebration, not in any way that facing you can't. 

Finally my question is this? Why are Priests and faith formators so afraid of this way of saying the Mass? Perhaps if we really thought and catechise people on the Mass being a sacrifice, a celebration to commemorate Jesus' passion, death and glorious resurrection and not as Pope Francis puts it a "social event" perhaps people would learn to appreciate the Mass altogether. 

To sum it up this simple picture depicts everything that is said:

Do read on below for more on this stigma of saying the Mass

• Offering the Novus Ordo ad orientem
• The Normativity of Ad Orientem Worship according to the Ordinary Form's Rubrics

I do fear that some people would come up and ask, so by this way, it will make you more holy? Truth be told, no, it will not make you more holy - yet (though THAT is the goal) but it will add to the meaning of the Mass and eventually lead you to think on what the Mass actually is. The Mass, as many has forgotten is not something we come for fun or something frivolous that can be taken lightly with special additions and whatnot, it is the culmination of our beliefs and a remembrance of all those who would die for it.  

A little look at death.

There was once a quote that I came across that loosely goes like this:

"When one person dies, a great book is lost forever"

Everyone has a story, no matter how dull or grey their lives are or otherwise, every single person be it an infant or a person over a hundred - their lives is a story. Analogically speaking every person is described as a book, and where ever we go, as long there exists a community there exist a library, a plethora of books, if you put in a place like Malaysia and pick let's say a small town there exists a library of many genres. 

Why the looking at death suddenly? The reason is because death is a natural part of life for a saying goes "For life we are uncertain but death it is for sure". Everything and everyone will die, that is the continous reality of the law of nature. This insight of death is to reflect on life, and how are we to spend our lives as to one day end up dying.

In this first part of looking at death, we would look into the "books" each one of us are. We call ourselves books because we are constantly writing  our stories. Every single day is a story to write, the dullness or bore of the day, or the exciting adventures we have from the moment we open our eyes to the time we close it is a new page in our book; when something takes a turn in our lives we then call that a chapter in our books. 

Each person's story is as unique as to themselves. Not only because of what the person goes through physically but more importantly is what the person perceives about something. Picture this, two people with very similar background from terms of ethnic and the way they are brought up can have very different opinions about how their community should be governed. The opinion, the perception or the viewpoint of the person is what adds into the story of one's life. The beauty of this is the concept of a free will, the freedom in which we are given to think; this is what gives our individuality. 

Now when death comes to a person, the book finally closes, the final sentences are written, and the reference list is added and index compiled just before the back cover closes. All of whatever is written is then lost to eternity. No matter how much one can account of the one who has passed, they will never get the same book ever again. For that reason that is why there is the reference list and the index, it is where after death, people continually to talk about the deceased. One might die like a superstar who died of an overdose, where people will talk about his sad way to go or die a martyr and how he sacrificed his life for others or in something he believes in; the book actually really never closes. What closes are the main chapters of that person's life. 

That is why no matter what a person is going through, everyone has their story to tell, pivoting that is what goes in their mind that makes it right for them - the subtle emphasis in their own lives, the usage of punctuation and perhaps pictographs in their pages. 

Never give up the chance to continue writing in your book; the question might occur on who then might read it? The person you share your adventures with.

The day you start to die is the day you are born.

Here is a very old post that I have once written before. I thought of sharing it once again.

The day you start to die is the day you are born

I read this post on my Wall on Facebook. It was written by Manvir, a close and good friend.

If you read this phrase at a glance, you will probably try to think hard of it, but after awhile you will just say "Nah!" and probably forget about it. This phrase some how has a very deep meaning. It has an abstract meaning to it which not many will actually ponder on; and I am not saying that I am, I am just saying that this phrase, is food for the soul.

To be born; if you look at a person's life in overall, you would either say that he lived his life or otherwise. When a person lives his life, it means that he had enjoyed his life, he lived a good man, helping others, loving others and of course treasuring life as a something so precious that not even gold can buy.

Die, in this probably doesn't mean literally dying but rather when a person knows that something is going to end like his life, or something that he is enjoying now. To die, is to lose something very dear, something precious. In this case, to die is to live behind the things you treasure most, like your experiences, your knowledge but most of all your loved ones.

The day you start to die is the day you are born is the day where you wake up to reality and face life in the face and realize that life has much more to offer than just to exist on this Earth. When we die we will have an epiphany that we have such a short time on Earth, so why waste it? Why exist when we can live? Why be depressed when we can live life to the fullest?

When we die we get the sudden realization that we have not enjoyed every moment of this life we have. There was once this man, he loved his family a lot but he was also a a man who travels, a man of the business. He was always busy, he was rich, and he never actually had quality time to spend with his family. Then one day, he felt this pain in his chest, he went to get it diagnosed - it was a tumour. He had only 8 months left to live. He was such a shock. Then he took what was meant to be the biggest step of his life, he quit his job. He wasn't afraid, but most of all he wasn't scared to die. His family all cried for him, they mourned his short time on earth, but he said to them, not to mourn, because life is too short- enjoy it, live it. So, in that short months he lived his life to the fullest; he loved deeper, he laughed more, he went bungee jumping, he learnt to ride a horse, he went to pick up ballroom dancing and he started playing the banjo. His last words were, that even though he did not spend enough time with his family, but in these last few months he really did spend quality time with them, and most of all he loved his life and had no regrets.

So that's it. One must cherish life and every moment we have on this earth and not to waste it. Still in a maze about this phrase? Don't worry, it will come to you one day.