A biblical advice on solving problems with someone.

Today's Gospel puts it almost perfectly on how to solve problems with someone. It takes on four approaches:

First, talk to your "brother", speak, reason and dialogue with him. Settle it between the both of you. If in the end, you and him reason things out, then it is solved!

Second, if step one fails, bring along another person or two, to settle it with him/her. Speak it out, dialogue and reason once more. Hear another person's point-of-view; what more get a person who's wiser and you know has dealt with a problem similar to what you to have.

Third, if approach number two fails, bring it to the community. Community meaning the bigger picture - bring him to court if it comes to that, or round up the groups and circle involved. Sort things out, discuss, and once again dialogue.

Finally if all else fails, "treat him like a pagan or a tax collector." As harsh as it may sound, this means that the problem with this person is beyond help. So what to do if it reaches here? Simple, do like what Jesus did, forgive them (see Luke 18:13), make sure to reason with them and most of all let them know what they are doing is not correct - be sure to justify why,  and above all pray for them. 

The practical guide provided by Jesus can easily be related to; when dealing with a person, it is always wise to reason out on what and why the person did what he did. It's best that problems between people can be solved through understanding, at the smallest point is to always solve it before it gets too large. Furthermore, the four approaches is not necessarily a procedural approach, it can also depend on the gravity of the wrong doing. The most important approach is always to keep in mind to do it with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15).

"Jesus said, ‘If your brother does something wrong, go and have it out with him alone, between your two selves. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you: the evidence of two or three witnesses is required to sustain any charge. But if he refuses to listen to these, report it to the community; and if he refuses to listen to the community, treat him like a pagan or a tax collector." - Matthew 15:18-17 

A hint of mercy.

"In short, we are called to show mercy because mercy has first been shown to us. Pardoning offences becomes the clearest expression of merciful love, and for us Christians it is an imperative from which we cannot excuse ourselves. At times how hard it seems to forgive! And yet pardon is the instrument placed into our fragile hands to attain serenity of heart. To let go of anger, wrath, violence, and revenge are necessary conditions to living joyfully."

The first line is probably the most special one of all, "because mercy has first been shown to us". The beautiful text taken from Pope Francis' bull on 2016 being the Year of Mercy (you can get it here) is a document proclaiming that next year is a year of understanding but more importantly receiving God's mercy. Because mercy has first been shown to us therefore it is only our right to be merciful and forgiving and having all the Christian values.

But wait!

Isn't this one of the hardest thing to do? To forgive, to understand, to listen, to comprehend, to tolerate and most of all to even love. Too many times, have we preached the word of mercy, but how merciful are we?

Mercy is an act of love, not only love for the other, but it extends as the inherent nature of human. Through mercy is where we experience the basics of human companionship, comfort, and fellowship with one another.

The challenge of mercy sometimes comes at a price; a price that can only be paid with humility and with a feeling of respect for the other person. Most of the time, this challenge arises when we are to show mercy to another person, showing mercy shouldn't be synonymous as a condescending attitude or a "duty" for the sake to care for the person, in fact showing mercy comes from the self offering to and for others so that others might gain from it(see Romans 12:1). Another challenge of mercy is also giving it out to those who need it most. Without going too far - as far as showing mercy to those in poverty and hunger - ask ourselves, who are the people who need mercy from us, in our everyday lives?

Sometimes we overlook this, and we tend to not show the mercy that others crave from us. Now the word "crave" may be strong, but let's reflect, who in our lives do actually crave for it. Another point of view is that sometimes the person who needs mercy from us is our very own self. Self-mercy isn't about pitying ourselves but rather a room we give ourselves to learn from the pain which we ourselves have caused or the pain from which others have given us.

"Perhaps we have long since forgotten how to show and live the way of mercy. The temptation, on the one hand, to focus exclusively on justice made us forget that this is only the first, albeit necessary and indispensable step. But the Church needs to go beyond and strive for a higher and more important goal. On the other hand, sad to say, we must admit that the practice of mercy is waning in the wider culture. In some cases the word seems to have dropped out of use."